Saturday, 28 June 2014

How Baba pulled me towards him- His Leela!

It was some time in 2011. I wasn’t very “fond” of Sai Baba, owing to the ignorant behavior of mine and lack of merits, possibly. But the inevitable must happen. God has his own ways. I was pulled towards Baba in a very skillful way by Him.
I was diagnosed with some kind of allergy on my back. It was ever increasing and so I had to go through a blood test. I gave my blood sample for test and went back home. During this time of waiting for the reports, I randomly wanted to visit Sai Baba’s temple at Rajpur road. My mom refused and didn’t allow me to go there since it was very far from my place. So I didn’t go but we had a heated discussion over it. I went to a Sai temple nearby, just for the sake of it, half-heartedly. I really wanted to visit the other one! On my way back, I collected my reports and I was diagnosed with Jaundice.  To some, it may appear that post visiting the temple I was diagnosed with a disease which is kind of a bad thing. To me, it was a blessing, a blessing from Sai Baba. I strongly believe that by making me suffer for three long months, Sai Baba destroyed the demerits of my past births  and the present and only when my merits and demerits were balanced, only when  my Karma was destroyed by making me suffer, I was blessed with Him as my Guru. He accepted me as His Bhakta and is since then taking care of me, making me feel his presence around me all the time and proving it to me time and again that I am under His watch and under His protection and no bad thing or calamity can ever shake my roots or last longer than my capability to endure it.

I was down on bed for three long months. I had to go through blood tests every week and each time, the reports got worse. The nights were sleepless, the days were all dull. The only time I used to get to see the outside was during the visits to the hospital. I was totally bedridden and my weight went down from 50kgs to 39kgs! The suffering wasn’t ending and it was on this one day when it struck my mom that she once didn’t allow me to visit the Sai Mandir at Rajpur road. It was decided that we would leave for it immediately and we did! We went there, prayed. And from there, we took a beautiful picture of Sai Baba which I hung on a wall of my room. 
That darshan, the pic, it refreshed me. It instilled a faith inside that things will be fine now. On the very same evening, my reports came and I was disappointed to see that it still got worse. I was so disappointed that I went to that picture of Baba and fought with him, questioned him, “Why still?”
The very night, I was hospitalized. It may appear to be a worsened situation but in reality, it was best for me. After being hospitalized, my condition began to improve and in three days, my jaundice started coming down at a miraculous rate!  What a wonderful Leela of Baba it was!
As I connect all the dots of the story, my inability to go to the temple, my falling sick, my going to the temple after three months, putting up Baba’s picture, getting hospitalized and finally starting to recover from the very same night, it all falls in place. My disease, as I strongly believe, was only to clear my demerits so that finally I could be blessed with Sai’s Grace. And I indeed am.
An ignorant fellow I am, not very content at times with what I get, not very good at tongue and even harsh at times but I know that with time, each and every single pervading vice in me will go away as my Sai continues to make me better each day by his wonderful Leelas which he plays with me. It’s been almost three years now and I feel Sai around me. He’s always been there. I know he’s watching. He’s seen me at my best and smiled me and told me that He’s proud of me and He has also seen me at my worst and made me realize my mistakes. I pray to Him that he be there with me to guide and protect me and my loved ones always. It is on account of his Grace that I got an urge to write my experiences with Sai.
“Anant koti bhraman nayak rajadhiraj yogiraj parabhrama shri sachhidanand sadguru sai nath maharak ki jai”